Favorite text of the day =)

Me: "Maybe you boys shouldn't jwalk just to go to mcd's :p Haha jk. Have a good night :)"
_____ : "Ha ha, you should have just hit us :)"

You know your brain stopped functioning when.....

.......

1. you see a Timmy's donut with red maple leafs on them and your comment says: "wow, that's a lot of Canadian flags on a donut..."
2. you play pool with friends and you hit a striped ball thinking it's the white ball....
3. your mind wanders off as you have a conversation with someone
4. you cannot express your thoughts correctly...
   
5. you turned at the wrong intersection...
   
6. you forgot to text a friend that you usually would text daily
   

... and the list goes on and on and on....

Blog blog blog your feelings away!

How often do you blog? What do you blog about? I was talking to a friend just now and she is currently in psycho-blog mode. She told me it doesn't take long to blog.... you just have to spill out your feelings.... and raw thoughts are the best thing. Half the reasons why I don't blog is because I hate sounding emo and angry all the time....

First week of APT is finally over. This past 4 days went by really fast yet really slow. I have enjoyed my experience at St. T's so far.. my mentor teacher is wonderful and awesome and amazing, and the students are not as bad as people think they are... driving 100km/h everyday to go to Sherwood Park makes traveling time shorter by a bunch. I taught my very first lesson today and things went quite well. I got to connect with the student teachers at that school and I have enjoyed their company. I found out I was the only secondary APT there.... until the secondary IPTs come later.... On the down side... I miss seeing people, I miss being with people... and even though I had the chance to go out tonight.... being at home for the past few hours kind of hit me....

I have a lot of thoughts in my head right now.... God... school, future, family... friends... so much that I feel so overwhelmed and pressured about. I blew up at my brother last night... I was stressed from family stuff in the past few weeks..... I "lost" a few friends "again"... I haven't done my resume and cover letters or my portfolios and applying to school boards... my mom has been semi-pushing me to think of getting a job, making money and supporting the family....some relationships just isn't the same anymore... I have given up my thoughts on mentorship for the next while since my last fail... there is just SO much... as A lot have changed in the year of 2010... already... things changed as time passed...

Do you ever ask yourself: "What's wrong with me?"... this question definitely applies to me right now...I wish I could travel back in time... I wish some of you never changed..... I wish there were second chances.... and I wish we could all start from square one all over again... I wish you were there for me when I needed you guys the most....

It's so hard to give these things up to God... it feels hard to let God take control of the situation... it's hard not to let these emotions take over you...

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." -- John 14:27

Who knows what will happen next? Only God will know and time will show.... waiting is the key... patience....

FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOM.... until....

... next Tuesday.... when all my friends have Reading Week and I start student teaching :(

I'm done my last university final EVER (unless I do more schooling....) Well, the exam went okay today... I wasted an hour fighting sleep and brain damage.... then finished it within the 3 hour time slot given :) I was the last one out.... -.- they were all at RATT waiting for me... haha. *sigh* I cannot believe how long we spent sitting at RATT celebrating and... they drank SO MUCH... and of course, I drank none. My classmates are out drinking again tonight... haha they really love spending time bonding via drinking. I guess that's not too bad if that's how we built community for the past 5.5 weeks.

I feel a bit...depressed at the moment. The fact that classes are over and I won't be on campus anymore is starting to hit me. I'm beginning to feel isolated from people and things... the feeling of detachment is kicking in slowly... Of course, I'm not letting these emotions control me or anything...that's just too silly and not worth it. But yeah, just some thoughts that's been going around this past few days...

In other words... I'm not quite ready yet for change... but I should prepare myself to move on.


"This is how change happens, though. It is a relay race, and we're very conscious of that, that our job really is to do our part of the race, and then we pass it on, and then someone picks it up, and it keeps going. And that is how it is. And we can do this, as a planet, with the consciousness that we may not get it, you know, today, but there's always a tomorrow." -- Alice Walker

Hmm...

I was waiting in CAB for a friend today and I bumped into someone who I don't really talk to but see often at ASK. I think it was a good hour spent talking with her. I never thought our conversation could have gone that far, it's kinda like having a first coffee together... but not really?

Well, what surprised me the most was when she told me she still remembers the story I shared at Large Group about Friend A and B....and she asked if I was feeling okay about it still....I was shocked how someone whom I never really talk to can remember such a sharing? Yup. I think God touched my heart right there at the very moment. I think that's something exciting because you never know or can expect who will remember your sharing way back in November? Maybe you have somehow impacted a person's life by sharing your stories with them. Who knows :)

What happened today gave me hope once again when I looked back at some of my "failures" within the past two years.

Anyhow....back to focusing and studying ... -.-; but YEAHHHH, I'll be experiencing "freedom" in less than 16 hours. :D