In loving memory of...

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever."

This was the Psalm I read to you before my friend and I left your room on Tuesday. My last words to you was: "Goodbye, I'll come visit you again tomorrow."... and that was my last goodbye to you, ever. I really wish you waited for us on Wednesday so we can hold your hand and say goodbye to you. I wish I obeyed and respested you more and listened to your words when I was younger. I wish I was able to finish reading the book of Mark to you before you left. I wish you waited for my convocation so you can celebrate with me once again. I wish I had the opportunity to spend more time with you, but I am really glad you waited for me to come back from camp to spend the last few days with you before you left.

It's hard to not blame myself...especially with the fact that everything just happened so quickly and unexpected, just like shooting stars. A close friend reminded me the morning when you left to treasure the little things that I did with you, even if it was just reading scripture to you in your room. I really enjoyed reading parts of the book of Mark to you, and I hope you enjoyed hearing it too, even though my Chinese might not be that great.

It's only been two days since you left and reality is beginning to sink in. It's odd not following the regular routine visiting and feeding you and it's been hard to accept that fact that the Lord took you away. But despite all this, I know you must be very happy to be up in heaven, reunited with grandpa and sitting at God's right hand - watching over us.

Rest in peace, grandma. We really miss you and you'll be forever remembered in our hearts.

Reality check

Camp withdrawal is still occurring at this very moment. I miss camp, and I miss the people already. I miss spending time with these people and sharing my lives with them!

A friend told me about her thoughts on the "true" wilderness, in which the challenges will come to us now that we are back into the city. Coming back into the city, I am already facing different challenges and fears... knowing that grandma won't be lasting very long.. knowing that there is an unknown future ahead of me, and so much more...

I still have many fears... fears of falling into the temptation of going back to my old, unclean lifestyle again. But I am reminded about the new wineskins: "no one pours new wine into old wineskins - if he does, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and wineskins will be ruined."

On the other hand, today's sermon on "Is your family all right?" made me ponder more on what we've learned at Mark West. The healing that Elisha performs reminds me of all the different types of healings that Jesus performs. The faith of the mother reminds me of the faith of the ones wanting to be healed by Jesus...the emphasis of the passage on family... and so much more..

God has the power to do all things.

"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing." -- Zephaniah 3:17

ASKamp & Mark West 2010

Back in Edmonton! Although it feels kind of weird being back in the city and not the wilderness. I spent almost 10 days at Pioneer Ranch Camp with great friends and met new people!I learned lots, ate lots of salad/fruits, spent lots of time with people, showered everyday, and so much more! There is still a lot to reflect on and needs to be processed, but hopefully that'll happen soon! =)

Now that we're back in the city.. I'm experiencing camp withdrawal and a bit of cultural shock.... not used to seeing more cars than trees, not used to not being with people almost all the time... and I'm eating... veggies.. haha - what's wrong with me?!?!?!?!?

I MISS CAMPPP. I wish I can go back and spent more time there!